Writing

i have paper but my teacher give me not high grade, i want to modify it.  my files in under the page.

this is my teacher comment:

This is a very interesting topic!  Please see the rubric and my notes below to understand your grade on the Letter to the Editor Assignment:

Purpose & Focus: 10/15

Organization & Transitions: 4/5

Tone & Editing: 4.5/5

Overall Grade: 18.5/25

To understand the numerical scoring of this paper and areas for potential improvement, please consult the areas marked with an X in the following grading chart:

To understand the numerical scoring of this paper and areas for potential improvement, please consult the areas marked with an X in the following grading chart:

Content & Structure

X

This is an interesting topic, but it’s also rather broad.  A more specific local approach would have been helpful.

X

The purpose and focus of this letter could be clearer throughout.  What publication is this aimed at? How might you appeal to the general readership of this specific newspaper more specifically? 

X

Your solution would benefit from further development and specificity and/or deeper consideration of opposing arguments or pragmatic challenges.

X

Further work on organization and/or transitions would strengthen this essay.

Editing Issues to Watch Out for in the Future

X

Missing/misused commas

X

Misused colons or semicolons

In regards to editing issues, you may want to consult the appropriate sections in the grammar handbook at the back of your textbook about these issues as well. (These are the cream-colored pages in the 8th or 9th edition or the blue pages in the 7th edition.)  Once you’ve reviewed these sections as well as your paper, feel free to let me know if you have questions about any of these issues. 

Your solutions would work, but how do we make that happen? How can we help those parents who aren’t guiding their children? How can we encourage teachers to teach this material when it’s controversial? We know the solution to teen pregnancy; however, the challenge is making the solution happen. A more local approach would probably help you address the issue more realistically. Other than that, this is good work!

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